Saturday, 22 December 2012

CONFESSION





Right there beside the window, at my desk I sat 
Right there beside the wall, I lay down on my bed
Right there along the side walk, I walk with my friends
And there were times thoughts swirl in my mind
Falling down ceaselessly like drops of heavy rain. 
    
     Blinking in the darkness, trying to find a way
     Guilt written in my shadow
     Extending my hands, I reach for truth in the lights
     Why didn't it come to me eternities before?
            Looking at the hopeless reflections in my eyes
            Looking for the signs of forgiveness
            Looking at the specks of anger
            Looking for a flicker of forgiveness
            Looking at that set mouth
            Looking for the smile of forgiveness.

In your eyes, I am a fleck of snow
There are still thousands like me
I am cold, I have no feelings, I am hollow
You can brush me off when I land on your shoulder
You can step on me without caring if I'm hurt
And then I'll melt away into nothing, like winter.

     What's in your heart, I wonder?
     Where is your courage, I wonder?
     What do you think of me, I wonder?
     What are their perceptions of me, I wonder?
     Do you think I'm a fool, I wonder?
     Do I appeared to be a fool, I wonder?
     Did you have a good time, I wonder?
     Where is the respect that I deserve, I wonder.

             Stop giving me hints, I'm not dumb
             What are you thinking, lead me to the truth
             And hoping I'll solve the puzzle, put an end to the matter
             And relieve you of your responsibilities?
             Don't try to make me a puppet under your thumb
             I said stop giving hints, I don't yearn for you and I'm not dumb!

You shouldn't have bothered in the first place
Then I wouldn't have to worry about your feelings
I wouldn't wonder if there's something wrong that I did
I wouldn't feel guilty of the way you're being treated
Did you know how these things plagued my mind
All the unnecessary time and energy it claimed
Do you know how much you could've spare me if you confessed
When I've got so much more to think about other than the
feelings of someone who doesn't care?

          You know, it's not that I like you so much that it hurts so bad
          Come on, the fool that I may be, I'm not that stupid to give all of my heart so easily
          But because of the trust you betrayed
          I had held the faith that if things go wrong we'll put it right the way we should
          I had held the faith that you will be honest with me
          I had held the faith that you are different
          That whatever decision made it's a matter of two person
          Not a person... and a fleck of snow.

We don't die because there's no love, we die because there's no hope. I had hoped that you could at least be honest, like a friend should be. I would have been perfectly fine with that, if only you had told me.

-Credit to Eva Beans-

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